shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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