oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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