he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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