69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
