I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
