cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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