I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Jerry, you need to find god
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
