Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
