She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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