Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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