Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
