Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
