I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
