I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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