i just google imaged poop.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
