I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i wish my penis had a tongue
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
