Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize