I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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