I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
