We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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