I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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