you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
