Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
