Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
