apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
