Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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