i may or may not be watching the land before time
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize