You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
