girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
