Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
