I wanna passion pit in your ass
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
