I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
