just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
