it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
you win again, gameday.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
