I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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