this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
well I can't set my house on fire every night
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
