why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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