i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
