weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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