so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i just made my gag reflex go away.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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