WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
he thought i was a dude.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
