Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
