Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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