now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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