I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
