Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
