PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
