Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
