You're my little dorito
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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