living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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